covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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