Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
