my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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