Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
