Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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