Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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