I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
