she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
