This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
