just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
