It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
