I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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