just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
