Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize