a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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