In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
