Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
