How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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