god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
