He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
