I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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