Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
