I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
