I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
