Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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