I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So many bounce houses so little time
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
