Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
