i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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