Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize