Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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