just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize