Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize