just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Congratulations! We have a period
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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