Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
