i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
