I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize