only if we run a train.
done.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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