new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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