I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
