is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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