Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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