been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
