Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
