yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Say something about gay babies.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
