What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
