I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
