Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
His nipple licking is glorious
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