I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize