that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
