I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
