so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize