she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
