He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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