We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
