Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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