Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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