one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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