That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
