The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You need a sexual gate keeper
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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