I am in a vortex of obligation.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
