Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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