she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
