i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
