somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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