You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
