I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
