we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
