White coat. Heels.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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