he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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