Is it because I queefed?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
