ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
