My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have aggressive nipples.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
