I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
